6.8.19 - 9:03 AM - ANCHORAGE, AK

For me, he’s right up there with Bruce Lee, Christopher Wallace and Shawn Carter. It’s been a year ago, today. I just read this, and thought a few of you fellow Bourdain fans might want to, as well.


6.8.19 - 5:44 AM - ANCHORAGE, AK

I woke up at 4 this morning, made some coffee, turned on Rogan (Sober October Challenge is approaching. Always a fun time for JRE fans), “put one in the air” (I got a samoan homie who always says that, and now he got me saying it) and decided to open the laptop. Soon as I opened my eyes, I was wide awake. I noticed that the older I get, the less hours I sleep at night. My father’s usual bed time is around 9pm and he’s usually up, drinking coffee, watching the news by 5am. I used to think that was so odd, as a kid, now here I am, doing the same shit. It’s funny when you pick up on those things.

My job is sending me to a military base located near Delta Junction, AK. I spent a year out there, 9 years ago, right before my oldest daughter was born. That was a wild time. Made good money out there, and had very little to show for it after a year, when I left to my next job. Let’s just say, they got some fun bars and fun girls in little ass Delta Junction. I leave tomorrow morning, so that may be a reason I’m wide awake on my last day here with the family. Anxiety runs deep within me, haha. Chances are, I’ll be passed out in bed tonight by 9. Washed.

Here’s some links to some shit I found interesting, amusing and/or stupid. Enjoy the weekend and make sure to smile to somebody.










6/6/19 - 8:34 AM - ANCHORAGE, AK

I took my kids to the lake, yesterday. It was a nice, hot, summer day in Anchorage. At one point, I believe it got up to 75 degrees which for me, is hot (after 70 degrees, my body begins to slow down and depreciate, haha). We spent several hours out there, then came home, and continued to sun bathe in the yard. Afterwards, papa bear stepped away to shmoke a quick doob and then the fam decided to hit up Carls Jr. for burgers and shakes. I had the Beyond Burger which apparently is the new vegan wave. Curiosity got the best of me, and I finished the burger, not truly a believer. I ate the entire thing though (it was a double, mind you) and then indulged in a chocolate/strawberry milkshake (I told them to put half chocolate, half strawberry, like a true stoner piece of shit) while my kid enjoyed a strawberry ice cream in the playground area.

I got home around 8pm, and hit the couch and turned on Netflix Kids so my daughter could watch a lil TV before bedtime. I probably was on the couch not even 8 minutes before the eyes slammed shut and I went to Sleepytown.

I had plans on making an appearance at Open Decks (a Wednesday night DJ event @ Koots) and having a couple drinks and laughs with the boys, but those plans never came to fruition, as I woke up at 3am, in a daze, 10 lbs heavier, gassy and full of shame and regret.

I could’ve just told this story in a couple of tweets, but I’m currently sitting at the dining table, eating blueberry bread, looking out the window at my neighbor’s house, who is currently DM’ing me about this chick he just bagged. I’m hella jealous right now. I haven’t gotten any sex in a couple of weeks, now. Baby mama still mad at me over my Seward shenanigans. Don’t tell her I blogged about it.

Anywho’s, it’s back to the lake. I’m getting whiter with each passing year. Pray I don’t get swimmer’s itch. God bless.

Photo on 6-6-19 at 8.11 AM #2.jpg

Damn you, panda…

Damn you… haha.

6.2.19 - 2:38 PM - ANCHORAGE, AK

I was going through my old hard drives and found a few old images that have been long gone and forgotten. Figured I’d dust them off and share. Enjoy.

6.2.19 - 8:45 AM - ANCHORAGE, AK

Story time…

In high school, I was a real piece of shit, when it came to the ladies. I was a young, lost boy and pretty manipulative.

I had a long time girlfriend who went to the private catholic school in my hometown, while I went to a separate high school on the other side of town. And while my girlfriend was being a studious, goal oriented young woman on a mission for a successful future, I was at my school playing with other girls, even having temporary side girlfriends over there. And one of those females at my school was a young girl named A*****. She was a few years younger than myself, and was very tall, slim, with long brown hair, and had a very innocent look to her which I was extremely attracted to. I used to go over to her house to make out with her, and get touchy touchy (she never let me hit it, I’m assuming cuz she was younger and I had a reputation that I’m sure she was aware of) and a couple of times, I even watched her shower (looking back now, just thinking of myself sitting on the closed toilet watching her bathe herself, so awkward, haha) and no matter how hard I tried, and how close we’d get to it, she never let me have sex with her.

Then she found out about my girlfriend.

My hometown of Fairbanks is small, so naturally, through mutual friends and gossip, young A***** found out I had a serious girlfriend at another school and called it off with me. She was hurt, and I was hella bummed out, ha. She ended up dating a guy I was cool with, not necessarily a friend, but a fellow stoner, weed dealer I knew from school that I would say what up to when passing by. His name also begins with an A. They became serious, ended up being high school sweethearts, got married and moved away from Fairbanks, and I continued on with my piece of shit, player ways.

Fast forward like 10 years.

About a decade goes by, and I’m now 26, in another serious relationship, that was becoming stale and approaching it’s end, when I received a message via myspace from A***** out of the blue, after not seeing or speaking with her since high school. We started communicating again through emails, DM’s and text messages. She tells me how her and her high school sweetheart got married, started a family, and moved to Sitka, where he became a cop. I was happy to hear that they prospered and started a family and was shocked to hear that he became a cop, due to the fact, we were both stoners in school and sold weed on the side. I found it humorous that he ended up becoming a law enforcement officer, but obviously, we all grow up and change as individuals, so it shouldn’t have been so shocking, now that I’m older and think about it more.

It was clear to me from the jump, though, that A***** wasn’t a happily married woman because she was communicating with me, again. And frequently. We started talking a lot. And as the conversations grew, it was told to me by A***** that she had never gotten over me and after years of being upset with me, she had grown curious as to what could’ve been. And now she wanted to find out (she had become much more assertive since high school, ha.) Oh yeah, she also said, her husband was getting promoted to detective, and that they were being transferred back to Fairbanks, so he could become an undercover cop and do drug busts. I found that hilariously ironic and interesting.

Not much longer after we began communicating, I got a job on the slope and was sent up there for the summer. A***** and I communicated daily while I was up there, and the relationship grew into using the L word (I really need to stop saying ‘I love you’ to people, I truly don’t love. It’s a terrible habit) as well as sending erotic pics. And by sending, I mean her. She was sending pics frequently, without me having to ask. She was clearly a bored, lonely woman at home. I wondered who else were receiving such pics.

So I began asking for specific types of pics. Particularly pics of her, in her husband’s cop outfit with his cuffs & night stick. She gladly obliged.

She also told me that every once in awhile, hubby would bring home what appeared to be cocaine from some of his drug busts and would stash them in their closet. I found that to be crazy, but again, just knowing him as a youth, it didn’t seem too far fetched. It was information that I really didn’t care about, but found interesting nonetheless.

After weeks of being on the slope, I was approaching my go home date, and A***** and I began making plans to finally link up in person and she decided that we meet in Anchorage at The Millennium Hotel, near the airport the following weekend when I was flying back home from work. We both lived in Fairbanks, so naturally, Anchorage would be a safer place to meet away from our spouses.

Unfortunately, we never made it The Millennium Hotel.

Two days prior to me returning from work and meeting with A***** in Anchorage, she called me. Her husband found out.

Apparently, A***** left her laptop screen open, and went to take a shower. Her husband returned home from work, unexpectedly and while A***** showered, hubby read all the emails between the two of us, over the last several months. Emails with the attached photos. Needless to say, the jig was up.

A***** said a huge explosive fight ensued (obviously), and it was told to her by the husband, that my safety was now in jeopardy (obviously) and that it wouldn’t take much for hubby to pull me over on a traffic stop, plant drugs in my car, and because of my past history and reputation, it’d be game over for your boy. I remember thinking to myself as she told me that information, “Well played sir, well played.”

A couple days later, I contacted the husband via email to politely let him know that I was aware of his game plan, that I was sorry it had gotten to this, and then proceeded to show him some pictures along with some information that was given to me by his lonely, unhappy and disloyal wife. I never got a response and never heard from him or A***** again.

Finally, due to the threat on my freedom from an “alleged” crooked cop, I had to tell this entire story to my friends and family (aka my fucking parents) just in case I were to randomly end up on the local news for being pulled over with hella dope in the whip.

My father was not entertained by this story but I hope you were. Ha.

6.1.19 - 1:26 AM - ANCHORAGE, AK.

Got way too stoned tonight and realized I didn’t post anything.

Here’s a lil gem, only a few eyes have seen. It’s been on private until now.

Madd Angler vs. Heat - a lil local hip hop gem for the heads. For those unaware, these 2 dudes been around the local battle rap scene for a minute. This particular match up was years in the making. I couldn’t make it to this particular battle so I paid a cameraman $50 to go and capture the moment, specifically for me. It was worth every penny, ha! Shout out to Angler & Heat. Shout out to Rhyme Different.

5.30.19 - 6:37 PM - ANCHORAGE, AK.
I keep telling myself, I need to write more. It could be songs, blog entries, poems, stories (you know I got a few), love letters to chicks (I’m single again, so, ofcourse, it’s back to the great chase, ha), whatever, I just need to write more. But like many other things I keep telling myself, it’s all been just talk. I need to stop talking and get back to just doing. I’ve been reading more, though. All types of books. Recently, helpful books on how to better myself and evolve into a better version (can you smell the stench of mid-life crisis from where you sit right now? Haha.) and I read something recently that said, you should spend at least ONE HOUR a day doing something that benefits you, that you enjoy doing, whether that be reading, writing, exercising, meditating, etc. and it stuck with me. Every day, I need to set some time aside to read, and write. My fat ass needs to be running more too, but one thing I know deep down inside that I’ve been neglecting for awhile, that’s bothering me, is writing. I used to write all the time. As a young kid & man, if I wasn’t writing, I was creating something and over the last couple of years, the blog entries became less and less frequent and even the song writing isn’t as consistent as it once was. I still love writing. Even right now, as I’m typing away, I can feel how therapeutic writing is for me and just like when you go to the gym, and that feeling when you leave after getting off your ass and getting some work in, I remember that I should be doing this every day. I need to be doing this. I emotionally, mentally and physically, need to write more. If you’re reading this blabbering bullshit, you most likely enjoy writing & venting too, and probably should write more, as well.

So, this is the new spot for my personal blogs. I’ll attempt to post daily. It’ll be about anything, everything and at times, nothing at all, ha. I may even fuck around and start putting out more of those dumb lil lists y’all like. We’ll see.

Oh yeah, music’s coming too. I promise. There’s a good reason for my lil “hiatus” recently, and I’d love to explain it right now, but I’ll save it for the new podcast.

I’ll post something tomorrow. I’m stoned as fuck and my kid wants to go swimming in an hour. She’s fucking 4 years old and jumps off the diving board with no vest on, yo! In the deep part of the pool. Swims like a fish. I didn’t learn how to swim til I was fucking 12. She’s already a better version of me. Shout out to Yili Ma (She’ll stumbled upon this site, eventually. It’s only a matter of time).

I’m going to try to attach shit to these blogs, so you ain’t just reading my random ass words. So, here’s a few lil links for you to enjoy. I’ll be back tomorrow. Good to be back.

LINK 1 - Here’s a video you all should sit down and watch. It’s lengthy but for some of you, it’ll be life changing. If you smoke or do shrooms, get blasted before watching. It’ll make it that much more enjoyable. (CLICK HERE)

LINK 2 - Here’s some new local music from Sk8 God of Anchorage, AK. He literally dropped this today, I believe. It’s solid. (CLICK HERE)

LINK 3 - I got my kid some new goggles for the pool, today. She’s fuckin stoked. (CLICK HERE)